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Freeborn: Chapter 16-17

The Decks and the Road
book 1- Freeborn


Chapter 16


Dr. Kat Shepherd- Shepherd was a distant cat.  Sometimes it seemed like a day or two would pass without our path crossing.  We lived like roommates.  He was the prettiest shade of gray you’d ever seen.  This day he’d decided to lay up under me.  It was a routine Tuesday otherwise.  I was working at home; studying and looking at planning the course for my upcoming visits.  I wasn’t too busy though, and I was happy Tayeton had decided to pull us out of the recess we’d been in.  I liked the pace.  It suited me and all that I had happening, but I was ready to see where we were going.  The blog was more than interesting, and it kept the blood of it all flowing.  I’d taken many of them into my pores.  His notes were sensitive and thoughtful that way.  Anyway, I’d suggested we meet at this really cool spot I knew near the beaches.  I’d taken a meeting there once, and had been hooked ever since. 

He was early and appeared like Shepherd; distant.  He stood at the entry observing the people around.  I was able to get within just a few feet before I saw his demeanor change.  It was cool to know I had that effect on him. 

“Hey there.”
“Hi Kat.  I see you bring the day and the evening with you.”
“It’s just a little something I learned to do.  Stick around.  I’ll show you how.”
“So this is a pretty cool spot.  I never heard of it.  Pretty popular it seems.”
“Yeah everyone around here knows Simple Fish.  They have the best fish anywhere.”
“I like the name.  Simple is always inviting.”
“I could agree.”
“I called.  They should have something for us…”

We entered the large two story restaurant, where a few groups were standing.  Tayeton quickly grabbed my hand as we cut through all the excitement and bubbly conversations.  There were no pictures or plaques of fishes anywhere.  It was simple.  There was a lot of glass everywhere however, and the lights kept everything sparkling.  The further in we went the more and more quiet and appropriate it all became.  We sat among many variations of blue; sky blue, ocean blue, aqua blue.  It was all the calm.  The food in the atmosphere could be picked up, but still the air was light and clean.  Our area was filled with couples, and I was glad.  It was one of the things I’d observed about Simple Fish.  They’d seem to pay close attention to the flow.  We sat on the first level, which was also appropriate.  I’d worn white jeans, with a black and white plaid shirt that had larger blocks of white than black.  I’d twisted my hair up in the back and simply stuck a pin in it.  There were a few pieces that weren’t long enough to stay pinned, and they fell out for a soft and care-free look.  It was pretty much one of two ways I always wore my hair.  Tayeton also wore jeans.  After all it was Tuesday—like mine, his shirt also had a collar.  I was mostly checking out his bomber.  It was black, but had these really cool rips that exposed a silver metallic.   It was more than the graphic tee he’d worn before.  I didn’t mine either way, I was a good idea I thought; graduated levels of personality and style.  I was not the style icon, nor did I try to be.  I liked Kat, and never thought to deflect from her.  His skin was mocha—eyes were these really thin slits, and of course they were dancing.  I wasn’t very hungry, I just felt like sharing something special, and that was why I’d made the suggestion.  After dinner we sat for a while.  We spoke about the blog, my work, and the lecture we’d attended.  We also made plans to attend another.  I’d suggested that he speak to the facilitators.  I thought he would make a great presenter.  He certainly had lots of deep thoughts and abstract ideas.  He was taken aback—I could see that he had never considered the concept.  It was always interesting to me—to see how differently people perceived themselves in comparison to how the world actually saw them.  Tayeton surely appeared understated.  It almost felt as though he was in an unfamiliar space.  I wanted to know if it was all the pleasantries, or if it was just his way.   It was no rush though, and it was nothing new to me.  We slowly lifted the edges of the surface layer of our relationship.      


Chapter 17


Tayeton- Dinner went well.  She didn’t eat much, but she did come alive at dessert—not that she wasn’t present before that, but whatever was still chilly between us had melted.  I walked her to her car.  We held hands again.  When we got there, I suddenly knew that it would be too much to see us live and then die.  I thought, let it die now.  I suppose it was the reason I’d thrown the purple card up before.  I was hoping to find an escape.  So just like that—I said it.  She’d just made her final turn.  I’d already kissed her on the cheek.  The key was halfway in the door.   
                “Kat.  I’m HIV positive.”  She was supposed to make a swift turn around.  She was supposed to drop her key in shock.  But instead she stopped, she must have taken a few deep breaths, maybe even closed her eyes and prayed, and then suddenly she pulled her key from the door and faced me. 
                “You’re kidding right?”  It was the one response I hadn’t thought of.  Her eyes were already filled with tears.  It was the moment I realized that we were already an item.  It was news to me.  I’d tried to time it.  I’d tried to keep my finger on the pulse of it, but I’d missed a few beats.  The more I thought of it, her response wasn’t so unimaginable.  In fact, I think it was just about the size of the response I had to the news also.  I took the two steps forward and held her.  I didn’t stop to consider that she might push me away, but she allowed me to hold her.  She was younger than me; only twenty-six.  I knew it was a hell of a load, and so I tried to take it back, but I couldn’t.  It was only the first of these moments for me, and it cut me in two.  I didn’t know how I would survive the others, or if there’d be others.  It was still such a scary topic, and I didn’t have the heart to ignore it.
                “No. It’s real.”  My answer was again very familiar to me.  It was the response I’d given to myself when I’d learned about my mother.  For months I’d thought, “This can’t be real” and again there was a voice that spoke boastfully, “No. It’s real.”  A few moments had passed, and I could feel that she’d gotten her grip, so I released her.
“I like you.  I think you’re great… I just don’t know if I want to walk this road.”  It was tough.  It was upfront.  It was respectable.  Yet, it was painful.  The word road.  It got me.  It was not that I was dying; we all were.  But it was for her with all her beauty and all the promise you could just see all over her, a road she didn’t need to take.  I got it.
“I understand.”
“Do you?”  I didn’t fall apart, and it must have worried her. 
“I do.”
“I hope we can still communicate.”  I heard the Doctor, and I knew what it meant.
“Sure.”  I waited again for her to get into her car.  This time I had no words to pull her back, so I let her go.  



Freeborn, a novel
Freeborn

© Grace Call Communications, LLC

Copyright © 2017 by Natisha Renee Williams
All Rights Reserved

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