Renegotiating Kaylin: The Introduction
Renegotiating Kaylin- The Decks and the Road
Kaylin- I’ve lived in a pot. A flower pot. Life has granted me a larger pot each time I seemed to outgrow the one I was living in. A few times it appeared that the pot was shrinking, then all of a sudden… Boom! A bigger pot. Still I feel as though I belong in a field with just the breeze for shelter. I’ve been dancing around with my mother’s journals since she passed away, and they’ve made me quiet. But I think I’m ready to speak. After all they’re not just her secrets; they’re family secrets and we’ve all paid a high price for them. The first of the secrets to be released into the air will be the one that has carried the most weight. It’s interesting... it carries so much weight and yet it’s as if he’d never been more than the size and width of a butterfly. At times I think of my odds; a father in prison and a dead mother, and I agree with my mother and the writer she quoted, “Not dead. Not dead. But Escaped. Not bound but Free!” I’ve lived in a pot, but he lives free. He lives somewhere in an untouchable space and time; dead and yet alive. He lives in every word my mother wrote after she lost him. She was never the same nor any one of her words. In her youth she was heavy and carried a left hook for wit, but then she was under the weight and her swing had lost its wind. It’s a different kind of sorrow. I can make out the difference between her dreams that fell through and the realization of death that she carried not once but twice. It’s like she always wrote from a place where all she’d thought of had existed. No twist or turn had ever caused her to doubt what she knew about her gift, except his and her death. Anyway I’m releasing it all, and I’m releasing it all in front the mirror. Thirty-eight, forty-three, forty-five is a pot; an encasement from which I shall break free. Watch me.
Renegotiating Kaylin, a novel
Copyright 2019 by Natisha Renee Williams and Grace Call Communications, LLC
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Written permission must be secured from the author Natisha R. Williams and/or Grace Call Communications, LLC to use or reproduce any part of this book, except for brief quotation in critical reviews or articles.
“Not dead. Not dead. But Escaped. Not bound but Free!” W.E.B. Dubios “The Souls of Black Folk”