Erased, a novel
Chapter 27- Farfetched
Tayeton- Her hair is
thick and doesn’t move with the wind like my wife’s. It’s golden brown and sits in rows of
waves. Her skin is some kind of pale,
but she’s not dying. It’s just the
powder white complexion that sets her apart from the other Simpletons. Her eyes are holding firm. She hasn’t blinked since she virtually handed
me my walking papers. It was the last
thing I’d expected from her. If I ask
anyone around here if she has the power to hire or fire, they’ll probably say
no. It’s just not one of the suits I’d
ever seen her wear. Nevertheless, I’ve
been let go, and she’s staring at me as if I should be moving already, but I
haven’t caught my breath. Rick’s out. He’s always out at this time on this
day. Otherwise, I might have thought he
was avoiding the matter. And the matter,
as she’d put it, was that I was hired without any qualifications or background
in the field and it was only because of my relationship to Walter. Now that he was gone, they were pulling the
trigger on all such hires. I thought of
all the business I’d brought in, and I didn’t understand how she couldn’t see
my qualifications. Everyone in the
company certainly knew. The moment I
pushed my chair back, without another thought she bounced up and extended her
arm out towards me.
“I hope you
find equal success going forward. You
can leave the keys in the desk drawer when you’re leaving.” Just like that, the ride was over, and I
still had no knowledge about the Fisher legacy.
Maybe I should have seen it coming after my run in with Sam. I wondered if he was the reason for all
this. I’d gotten the letter in the mail
days ago, and I’d planned on getting an attorney, but this felt personal.
I finished
clearing out my office, and made a few short rounds to say my good-byes. I filled my trunk with all my belongings, and
I could feel them drawing me back as I pulled out of the parking lot at Simpleton
and Fisher. I tried to think of a place
to wrestle with my thoughts, and found myself back at the spot where I’d found
Mr. Wells. I sat on the same wall almost
in the same place and looked over the water.
It was hard to judge where I was in the scheme of things I’d fallen
into. The blog was the one thing that
felt solid, and now with the letter from Sam’s attorney, I was being asked to
shut it down. And not only the blog, but
the lecture series I’d spent months putting together. He was calling it a copyright infringement,
and made no hesitation to convey his message at the end of my first
lecture. The entire day had gone as
planned; even the days before. All of my
banners, posters, and cards had come in on time. The promoters had done a good job circulating
the flyers, and I had even spotted around town.
On the day of the lecture there were nerves, but it was hard to unravel
when everything was going so smoothly. I
sat in my car for the last twenty minutes before I reentered the building with
my notes in hand. It wasn’t supposed to
be a big deal. All I’d originally
planned on doing was speaking on a hand full of my thoughts. Thoughts I knew well, but it was taking place
on a stage, and I was nervous.
The crowd
applauded the second I hit the platform. I felt at home the moment I realized that they
were fans of the blog. I knew because at
the end of my first presentation, the questions were running me over. They had lots of questions, and not new ones. They’d held on to them. Perhaps they’d never considered they would
have a moment to share their thoughts, but they did, and eventually I had to ask
them to hold back their thoughts. That
was also when I realized how much “She” had become a hit. The time was tight by the time I climbed my
way out of that hole, and I jumped over the next two entries I’d chosen and
ended on Nora. At the mention of her
name the room also came to a roar, and I could feel how much love they had for
the memory of my mother. A couple people
stood; those were the ones who had calculated the courage it had taken to write
the entries I had written about my mother.
When it was all over, I stood surrounded by a hand full of audience
members who were determined to leave behind the things they came to share. I did my best to listen, but the day had been
long, and I had more notes I wanted to capture.
The last of those circling me to speak was Sam. He began with a warm congratulations. Nothing about it said warning. He then gave his sympathies for the loss of
my mother, but right after that, he introduced himself as Sam Simpleton and
informed me that he was the owner to the rights of “Thinking Outloud”; the
small book of poetry my mother had written.
It wasn’t a piece in the puzzle as I saw it. It was more like a piece to a second
puzzle. He hadn’t said it in the exact
words his attorney used, but he did state, “If you choose to continue using the
name “Thinking Outloud” you’re going to owe me.
“She’s my mother” was my first thought.
“This is business” was his response.
It came with his business card, and he took with him all the notes I was
holding right out of my mind. Just like
that, a cruel breeze had ridden in and taxed the room for its coming.
I’d kept the
card with me and was holding on to it as I sat in the cool. I hadn’t paid it much attention before. In fact I’d shoved it in my pocket that
evening before Kat had made her way over.
Now I was studying it, and I had a few questions of my own. Questions like why I’d never met him, why he
had only printed Sam on his card, and what was this secret branch of Simpleton
and Fisher called Ample Publishing.
Maybe this was the opening I needed, and I planned to pay Sam a surprise
visit much like the one he paid me. I
left the reserve confident. In the
meantime, I knew I needed a lawyer and I reached out to Mr. Shepherd to find
one. I called the number he gave me, and
made an appointment to see the person he told me to speak to. I sat for a while longer, but it was all
circles. Nothing would make sense until
I got some answers. Until then, I stored
Sam’s card and the piece of paper where I’d written the lawyer’s number down
right next to the stickies I still had in my wallet from three years earlier. On the walk back to the car, again I spotted
lizards cuddling. Still I thought no one
would believe me, but this time I thought not to rob them of each other.
Likewise,
nothing I’d said to Kat had robbed her of her desire. She had listened as much as she was willing
then she’d shut my mouth with a kiss.
“Let’s have
a baby.” She pretended that none of what
had unfolded mattered. We’d only talked
about it in dreamy moments; not moments like this when reality had a heavy hand
knocking at the door. In those moments,
we both knew it was farfetched, and so we never talked about it really.
“Stop being silly. This is real.” I spoke of all of it together as one.
“But God is telling me different.” She sat with her knees bent, her chest
against my arm, and her lips beside my ears.
“Different like what? You’ve seen the meds. I’ve not been cured.”
“So you pray to a God you don’t
believe?” Her words were beyond me. I quickly turned them over in my head, and
was faced with another question that needed answering. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t believe… but
I was praying to a God I was still getting to know. This was the same God that hadn’t mentioned
anything about me losing my job or my father.
I mainly tried to understand when he’d showed up, and if it was all just
my imagination. Furthermore, why hadn’t
I heard anything.
“You’re just not going to answer?” She was upset and left the bed. She usually liked for me to undress her, but
she’d moved on to doing it herself. She
changed into her sleep clothes, and then I could hear the faucet running and
the bristles of her toothbrush against her teeth. The usual.
Then the door shut, and it was not the usual. I brought my feet to the floor on my side of
the bed, and tried to get up but I couldn’t.
There was nothing I could do. I’d
done the right thing. She knew
everything she needed to know, and she’d bravely walked the narrow aisle to
where I was standing. Beneath her veil
was a smile I would never forget. When I
placed the band on her finger it was still.
No trembling. When the minister
asked her if she would have me as her husband, she stared me right in the face
and answered yes. The first night we
made love, she didn’t blink. Now I
thought maybe she was having second thoughts.
It was early still, and my best guess would have still been a better
guess. At least twenty minutes went
by. It was all dead silence; me sitting
here and perhaps her with her back against the wall. Maybe her timing was right. If it was going to fall apart, now was a
suitable time. I don’t get up until the
door opens and she’s standing there with her face soaked with tears. I pull her close and she releases a loud
cry. I’m crying too and it feels like we’re
back at her car that night at Simple Fish.
“What does this mean? I need to know.”
“What do you mean?”
“If you’re not going to be happy, don’t
pretend that you will.”
“Why can’t you just trust me?”
“With what?”
“I was scared too, but not anymore.”
“I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself
Kat.”
“I have enough faith for the both of
us.”
“I can’t.”
Those were the last words I
spoke. I was sure she’d heard me, but
her actions said different. When she’d
finally rested her head on her pillow, I made my terms clear.
“I naming him.”
Chapter 28- Packed and Ready to Go
Veronica- Just a while ago I was sleeping in a
cell. Today I’m going dress shopping
with my daughter. The first shop we pull
up at is on the second level in a strip of shops. We’re in Derek’s truck today. I suppose Jennifer is really planning on
shopping. As I step out, I see several
bodies walking towards us. They’ve been
waiting in their cars. It’s her
girlfriends, but behind one of them, I see my daughter. The other one. The last time I saw her, I was being carried
off. No one said she’d be here. I thought there was something between
them. I was sure of it, but she was
here. The ladies each greet me with a
slight hug as they move pass me, but she’s lagging behind. My first thought is to turn away and keep
walking, but I keep my feet planted. I
don’t know what’s left of what was between us. Maybe it’s all gone; evaporated. Jennifer doesn’t say a word, and soon we’re
left behind with each other. She comes
within a foot of me, and I notice the ring on her finger. I want to be better, but better takes a quick
flight, and I’m still that woman.
“Who’s the lucky guy?”
“I see your feelings about me are
still the same, but I’m here, so can we just get through this.” She’s direct.
We both are, and I’m forced to remember how it all got this way. I think it was that stupid dream. She should have kept it to herself. She was old enough to know that there are
some things you just keep to yourself.
It makes you wonder. I mean
either she cursed me or God himself told her.
Either way, she didn’t just predict it, but she had her role to play in
the whole thing. Anyway she’s right
again. We’re here and we’ve got to get
through this. There’s no kiss… no hug…
Just a slight smile before I turn to the stairs.
When we walk in, we’re showed to
where everyone ran off to. Jennifer is
in a fitting room. There’s another lady in
the group that I don’t recognize, and she quickly introduces herself. When Jennifer returns she’s in an egg shell
color dress. It’s beneath her, but she’s
chosen it. There are a few gasps but no
response from me or my daughter. I want to
see a bride, not a woman in a dress she doesn’t think she deserves to
wear. I can see behind her eyes that she’s
uncertain. It’s odd because she knows
everything about what to wear. I have
her to thank for my special look the other night, so I save my breath for
something breath-taking.
I know she has three different shops
lined up, and I’m thinking maybe it will be at the next stop. I’m surprised when the clerk signals for me,
and I slowly make my way to her room. I
turn the corner and she’s standing in the hall.
It’s stunning… she’s stunning. I
don’t recognize it, but it’s pointed out to me.
I’m smiling, and my eyes are lit up.
It’s another great gift… to realize that after all this time, she still
wants my opinion. I return to the ladies
with tears in my eyes, and she’s just a few steps behind me. The sound in the small space let all the other
clusters of brides and their friends know that another bride had found her
dress. I slipped out for some air and
left the girls to enjoy the moment. I
hadn’t thought about it the whole time I was away and not up until now really,
but I was the reason why my daughter wouldn’t have her father walk her down the
aisle. Well, I and her sister were both
responsible, but I’d let her off the hook two decades ago, and there was no use
getting her caught up in it now. Now it
was time to pack up the past and set it on fire. I began to dry my tears as I noticed Erilyn
on her way down. I wasn’t finished
packing up the past. I’d just settled on
the notion completely, and there were still some things hanging out. I needed just a few more minutes, but she had
made her way back to me.
“Thank you. It could have meant hell for me, and I am
grateful.” Only four of us could testify
to that day. One of us had died on the
spot. My mother died some years later,
but she kept her promise. We were the
last two, and we’d just come eye to eye about the issue. It was just in time to get everything packed
away, and set a fire to it. Her
gratitude was the match. My resentment
was the fire, but in this case it was good for all of us.
Erased, a novel
Copyright 2018 by Natisha Renee Williams, All Rights
Reserved
Grace Call Communications, LLC Copyright 2018
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