RK- The Rose, The River, and The Reaper

The Decks and the Road

Renegotiating Kaylin

Chapter 16- The Rose, The River, and The Reaper

Kaylin- It was the Holy Trinity of Weekends.  Friday night I was with Jack.  Not as in Jack a guy, but JHK.  Whenever the three of us come together, we’re Jack.  I was sure to go padded, locked, and loaded.  It was only a large coffee house, but I’ve been to huge arenas and I liked this better.  We sat on the second level next to another group of girls.  If I had to name them, they’d be Tiffany.  Jack is no Tiffany.  We don’t do dress codes and we’re never ushered anywhere.  We set our sights.  We stretch our arms and we move our legs.  The stage set up said that although someone was taking money into consideration they understood the value of a good stage.  It was easy to see that there was a budget, but it was hard to tell what it was.  There were standing posters of her nearly everywhere.  It was the picture from the album cover.  I’d certainly bought a copy; mainly to see exactly how many of my songs had been taken, but I’d fallen in love with the album.  I sat in a state of love-hate.  Three was the number, and her name had been added to the credits of all three.  As we waited through the opening act, I tried to think about how I would make my approach.  The other members of Jack were not fanatical or furious.  I hadn’t said anything to them about the songs, and they’d only known of the one song that had taken over the airwaves, but they were excited to hear her sing it live.  While Tiffany was rocking out to the band on stage, our table held a mixture of distractions.  It was a frenzy of selfies, food sharing, phone passing, and social media check ins.  I’d chosen Friday for a cheat day, and I was more than licking my fingers over my barbeque meatballs and fries.  Before I could finish, I heard the lead singer giving his farewells and signing off.  It wasn’t a long line up, and Radiance was up next.  As Jack’s eyes took to the stage, the words ‘Coming Together’ was projected onto the back curtain in pink.  Beneath the words were the signature heart shaped glasses from mostly all her pictures and the album.  I could feel that my heart rate had entered into another speed zone, and the whole audience gave a cheer.  About twenty minutes later her voice filled the house with Thanks.  She hadn’t come to the stage just yet, but it was the moment all fans can recognize.  It was the moment I realized that she was in the building and that we would see her live.  The lights dropped, and she was spotlighted all the way to the mic, but she was already singing and we could hear her just fine.  It’s a simple sentiment; even cliché but she was Radiant.  I tried as I had been for weeks to remember her as the girl at my party, but it was hard because she hadn’t showed up as a star, but was herself with him.  And maybe it was her good manners, but she hadn’t worn her glasses.  She sang a total of five songs.  Two were mine.  ‘Coming Together’, was last.  By the third song the audience expected she’d wait until the end, and it was worth all of it; the hair, the make-up, the anxiety, and even the flashback.   It was difficult to be angry when a melody that sweet finds you.  It’s also hard to be angry when the right person sings your song.  At the end she sang the last verse and chorus again.  If she hadn’t there may have been an uproar.  Then she landed the final two words gently down, and left the stage with a blow of a kiss and the projection of small and medium size stars all over.  It was dark again for a few moments and then the lights came up like a bell at the end of the school day, and people began buzzing and spinning around just to make sure they weren’t the only ones who had been mesmerized.  Then out of the delay came a break away applause and then the entire house was cheering. 

We made it to the bottom, through a few groups taking pictures, and another few trying to determine their next move.  As we crossed through the exit, I overheard one guy saying that she’d be at The Rose afterwards.  I’d heard about The Rose, but I’d never been there.  Honestly, we were too young for The Rose, but I thought to try our luck.  I awakened Jack’s ears to the scoop, and we all thought it was worth the try.  When we arrived out front again there was the picture from the album and we knew we’d heard correctly.  I hadn’t considered it much before, but I thought this time… “What if he’s here?”  There wasn’t a definite line just yet, and I didn’t see too many people our age around.  The guard at the door was carrying on a conversation, and it seemed to give us enough time to see where we might fit in.  Before we’d come to our conclusion a high spirited man came up to us, “You girls trying to get into The Rose tonight?”

“Yeah, we just attended Radiance Live.  Can you get us in?”

“I can but you’ll need to stay close otherwise people start asking questions.”  He was with two other guys. They were all talking and moving fast it seemed.  We did as he said and each fell back into the gaps between their individual and unspoken personal stardom.  A few hours went by.  The man acted as our sponsor, and invited us to everything that came across the table.  Some things we acknowledged, and other things we didn’t.  When he’d asked us our names, we’d all quickly responded “Jack”.  It had turned out to be the perfect icebreaker, and he followed up with, “Jack I’m Joy.”  It was the first time we didn’t have to explain the whole Jack thing and we had all hi-fived.  We knew the moment Radiance had gotten there by the random and scattered applause moving through the club.  To my surprise she sat at a table not far from where we were.  I waited a while to see if he was with her.  Then something said… “Go now.”  Still I waited.  I waited until one of the servers handed her a note, she read it, and walked away from where she’d been sitting.  Then I knew it was my moment.  I quickly pushed Johnaya and Hannah out from the side of the booth we were sitting at, whispered, “I’ll be right back” and followed the two other people that had been at the table with her out of The Rose.  It was a phone call.   Her companions stood off to the side and she spoke quietly.  I hung back by the door and pretended to also be making a call.  When I saw her turn to return to the club, I took towards her.  Before we could come face-to-face, the guy with her had come between us and was holding his hand out towards me. 

“It’s okay… let her.”  Her instincts were right.  I was a fan, but that wasn’t the reason I’d come to The Rose.

“Haven’t I seen you before?”  She removed her glasses to get a better look and I could see when it clicked.

“I’m Kaylin.”  I wasn’t sure if she’d gathered my name, but I thought it was the appropriate time.

“Radiance.”  I could tell she was coming around to understanding.

“And you came all this way for…?”  She asked now that she’d picked up her second note of the night.

“It’s ‘Coming Together’…  I wrote it.” 

“What do you mean… you wrote it?” 

“Eaton, he stole it from my computer.”

“Then you should talk to Eaton.”

“I do understand.  It’s just that his name is not in the credits.  There are only two omissions, and four words that I didn’t write, yet there are three writers credited for the song.  I was just wondering which of those four words did you write?”

“That’s enough.”  This time when the man who was dressed in all black with a black ball cap got between us, there were no objections.  She made her way around him and headed back inside.  I watched her as she did.  Before she completely disappeared, she looked back at me.  When it was over, I walked to the car.  I texted the rest of Jack to come out, and then sent another, “Kiss Joy goodnight.”  On the way back Hannah asked, “What’s the real story between you and Radiance.”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”  I made my rounds and when I was finally alone, I thought about what Radiance had said.  I placed her words next to Eaton’s words and it all looked like nothing, but I’d studied the information on the album and I was prepared to go to the label.

The next day was Saturday, and I found myself back at Lynchwire Dr. I’d seen her a handful of times by now.  I knew that she’d never married, and that Rivers was also her mother’s maiden name.  It was strange but the thought had made me appreciate having my father’s name.  It’s interesting how history changes your whole outlook on the present.  It was good for me to know her.  It was also good for me to know her humor and the nonchalant way she threw a dagger.  She’d dug up the pictures she had talked about and I gathered many new impressions of my mother.  We’d even stumbled on a few of her when she was pregnant, and it surprised both of us.  I could see it challenged her recollection of everything that happened, but I overlooked it.  It was much like all the other times.  We ate.  We watched TV together, and between it all we both found small openings and asked about the things we wanted to know about.  She asked about Tayeton more than I think she noticed.  I’d thought of telling him about her, but I took account of her apprehension whenever she would ask about him and I thought to wait a while.  I had a question on my mind.  It had been torturing me since I’d spotted the similarities, but I was afraid to ask.  I spent most of my time while the TV was playing trying to see where I could insert it.  I thought it would be up to me, but then she created the perfect opening.

“So Kaylin, do you see many similarities between you and Nora?”  I was still holding some of the pictures in my hand.  I looked down at them and thought briefly.  It wasn’t anything I’d taken from the pictures, but I replied,

“Yes.  I’m a writer.”  To my answer she was quiet.

“What about you?  Do you see any similarities?”

“Well we were both Rivers.”  There was an apparent pride.  One I didn’t know enough about to judge.

“She died a Johnson.”  I informed her.

“Good, and where is Mr. Johnson now?”  It was an honest question; one we hadn’t covered.  I’d already mis-stepped, and I couldn’t uninform her.

“He’s in prison.”  I waited to know if she would gloat.  I was still trying to get a clear picture on how she felt about my mother, but it was hard. 

“She grew up fast… before I had a chance to tell her the joy of being a river.  A girl don’t get her daddy’s name and she starts to fall apart, but rivers are meant to be speaking and not always spoken for.”  It was an interesting moment, and it was good for me to know that she was the definite thread to the gift.  It had happened again.  We’d come to the edge of diplomacy and found the beginning of wisdom.  These were the moments that kept me returning to Lynchwire Drive.  It was the moments where I understood that I could learn some things. 

I woke up Sunday early.  I’d promised to go visit my father.  I’d never despised being a Johnson, but I’d awakened with a strong desire to be a river.  Before I didn’t know what I would say, now I believed in the river within me.  I thought about my grandmother’s words over and over, and they’d become a type of music to my ears.  There was something solid about them; something that made me less a ward of the state.  I also thought about the fact that he was dying, and what it would mean for him to be dead in reality and not just dead to me.  Then I understood there was only one kind of dead, and the finality of it is what gets it its name.  I didn’t deprive myself of breakfast or the peace I went to sleep with.  It was good for me.  Instead I thought to tell Kayla about my dilemma and ask for her help. 

The drive was a more quiet and slow drive than I can ever remember taking.  I could see her torment although she tried to hide it.  If she could have delayed the moment, she certainly would have tried.  I didn’t understand their bond, but it was clearly there.  The second our eyes landed on each other, we each got a sense of the time that had passed.  We were passerbyers of each other long before he left.  It was the night I woke up to pray that made us that way.  We nodded at each other almost; that was what felt right.  I mostly watched on as they talked.  We didn’t speak to each other until we were prompted to.  It was her wishes mostly.  I mean, the word on his condition did make me want to see him, but what if it was mostly curiosity and not concern. 

“It’s almost time to go…  Is there anything you want to say?”  She’d remained strong and hadn’t shed a single tear.  This was in the face of practically a skeleton or a shadow of the man.  I searched my mind and my heart.  They were rambling.  I thought of the river I’d inherited.  It was calm. 

“Did you love her?”  It wasn’t an unlikely question, but perhaps there were others he’d assumed would come ahead of this one.

“The only way I knew how.”  It was shocking; the honesty and the revelations.  I thought about Eaton then Aaron. 

“I’m sorry about your mother Kaylin.”

“Me too.”

“How’s Tayeton?”

“He’s good.”

“You two take care of each other.”  Those were his final words.  There was a long quiet embrace between them.  Then he was gone. 

Renegotiating Kaylin, a novel

Copyright 2019 by Natisha Renee Williams and Grace Call Communications, LLC

All Rights Reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.