RK-Then Came Monday's Hoops

The Decks and the Road

Renegotiating Kaylin

Chapter 15- Then Came Monday's Hoops

Wood-  I’d jumped through all of Sunday’s hoops before I finally texted her.  I’d also managed to keep myself away from Eye to Eye and all that was pending there.  If we were going to come back from this, this was the moment.  I was living in a studio box; sleeping on a sofa I’d bought.  I kept the space simple; simple enough to see one foot in front of the other.  I was certain that the message that Pastor Andre was requesting to see us would have gotten her attention, but it hadn’t.  Not yet anyway.  I sat with my second bowl of cereal watching the digital clock I’d hooked up right beside the TV.  I watched the numbers with shadows of minutes passed resting beneath them.  When it was nine fifteen, and I knew she was in her usual Monday morning brief, I signed back on.  I should have gone directly to my match with Meg, but I found myself strolling again.  I ignored the messages and the blinking hearts, and instead got sucked into one future glimpse after another.  It’s just about three lines of text.  It’s an opportunity to pitch a glimpse of where you’re going.  It’s my favorite part of combing the profiles.  Some are embellished; you can tell… others don’t take you that far and then there are those that make you look at your own life.  Meg’s future glimpse was short but sweet… “I’m blossoming and I’m taking the world with me.  Care to join me?”  With all the ones that I’ve read and enjoyed, it’s the one that I can’t forget. 

It’s ten o’clock when I get her response, and it all but forces me to take the next step with Meg.  I’ve done it before, but the first time my expectations were low.  Actually, it was all for fun the first time.  Now, my heart is not so full of her, and maybe the matter is growing beyond fondness.  I click on the option to manage my matches, and there she is.  It’s still just a playful icon, but it makes me smile.  I have two messages from her, but it’s just one sentiment repeated, “Cold feet?”

I consider the term.  It should be set aside for something more serious, but I get it.  I also consider the fact that she’s being rather shy and didn’t reveal herself.  I mean, there are no rules about who should go first.  I can nudge her and unveil myself right before her eyes, but I unveil myself and leave her the message, “Can’t wait to see you” instead.  I head to take a shower, and before I start to get dressed, I check in again.  Something went wrong.  I don’t get it.  All I see where her icon used to be is, “This Member has Unsubscribed to Eye to Eye”.  April fools has passed already and so I quickly cross it off the list of possible reasons.  I rest for a second on the shoulder of the sofa, and lament over the road we appeared to be constructing.  I thought maybe I’d waited too long to respond, but it was an unreasonable thought.   Other questions arose, but I was rational, and the only thing that made sense was to wait a couple of days to see if she would return.  Just as I came to the conclusion, I noticed another text from my wife….  “We need to talk.  Just me and you.”

“Let’s do Daves about five.”

“okay.”  It was a sudden change of events after she’d blown me off with her busy trumpet earlier.  I also didn’t miss the bit of chill that had come with the request, but I was open.  I’d planned on shaving later in the week, but I made a swift turn around.  She was still my wife, and we were still my preference. 

When I arrived, the place was alive.  There was the smell of food for miles.  I was sitting on the hood of the car on the passenger’s side when she pulled in.  She took the first available spot she saw about three cars away.  It was hard not to count the seconds, and without my being notified, I’d become teary eyed.  She emerged from the car with her hair in a loose knot.  She was wearing yellow; a color I always loved on her.  I tried to read her energy, but it looked and felt to be all stuffed behind her shades.  Her steps were fast and the knot bounced with each step.  I wiped my face in my sleeve in a spot where she’d cried many times, and by the time she’d reached me I was somewhat composed.  My composure however was caught completely off guard by the multiplicity of her two arms swinging and her fists pounding on me.  I restrained her as best as I could…

Kayla-  “Let’s talk about it later?”  It was the razor sharp choice of words that had hid their edges, and had left me cut deeply.  We’d somehow managed to make a game out of being hurtful.  I’d noticed the tears he’d rubbed into his sleeves, but they couldn’t hold anything up to the ones I’d cried since I’d opened up his message.  I wished to correct him, but maybe it meant I would have to correct myself.  I knew we needed to talk, and that was all I knew.  The fists flying; I hadn’t planned on it.  Maybe months ago I did, but I didn’t think we could squeeze much more disappointment out of this situation and hadn’t expected to land as many as I did.  He didn’t speak, and when he’d restrained me beyond my strength, I heard the words “I’m sorry” as he gently spoke them into my ear. 

“I hate that you took her there.”

“Nothing happened… I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“And what about the others?”

“What others?”  I couldn’t see his face, but I could hear the confusion he'd expressed.  I wasn’t sure if I believed him about her, but he couldn’t deny that there had been others.

“Tell me about Meg.”  At the placement of the name, I was set free.

“What do you know about Meg?  We’ve never met.  I’ve only talked to her.”  He steps out from between me and the side of the car. 

“Do you want to be with her?”

“I don’t want to play this game Kayla.  Tell me how you know about Meg, and we can move on.”  I’d hurried to satisfy my frustrations, but I hadn’t gotten this far.  I hadn’t imagined I’d be the one choking on my words.  I stood remembering the life hidden behind a cartoon icon that had brightened my day on several days.  I thought about his sense of humor and the name he’d chosen, and I knew it was only the low chances of this sort of thing happening that had kept me from realizing it was him.  Still the road Meg and ‘The Body’ were traveling was a road made in heaven with no complications.  It was not the reality that love would have to rise above each and every day to keep from dying, and our love had taken more blows now than I’d landed on this day.  Apparently we were both filled with questions, and our questions kept us walking three step in one direction and then three steps in the other.  The point where we met is the point where we turned and moved in the next direction.  I’m not sure what we were calculating, but he had one hand laid across his stomach with the other propped up and extending to his mouth where it was holding on, and I made my rounds with both hands folded.  Eventually his pondering led to a profound question.

“Are you trying to tell me you’re Meg?”  We’d finally come together but didn’t turn.  His outstretched hand hung on to my jaw, and with the other he pulled me close.

“Are you telling me I found you twice?”  He asked again, and again I couldn’t speak.  This time his finger under my chin directed me to look him in the eyes. 
“It was only after I learned that you’d taken her there.  I thought I’d lost you…  I would…”

“Enough.  Just tell me there’s still room for us in your life.”

“Of course.  There’s always room for us.”

“So, will you come?”

“Where?”

“To the meeting with Pastor Andre…”  I could see his eyes swelling with hope, and love, and faith, but I didn’t have a solid yes within me.

“Let’s talk about it later.”  It was the phrase I’d disliked then allowed then hated, and had now adopted.  I could see on his face that he was not satisfied.  It was not the thing I’d come to deliver, but I was honest and I could more than live with it.

“Okay.”  I’d taken note that both he and I had removed our rings, and I understood that he didn’t want to just slip them back on.  We were on the same page on both issues, but even on the same page there was a stalemate.  I heard the words, “go slow” and I nodded silently.  When both our faces were drenched in tears and the realization that we couldn’t just go back to things the way they were, he relented with, “I will always love you.” 

     

Renegotiating Kaylin, a novel

Copyright 2019 by Natisha Renee Williams and Grace Call Communications, LLC

All Rights Reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.