The Decks and the Road
book 1- Freeborn
Chapter 27
Jennifer-The shape
and size meant it was an invitation of some sort. It came among many other envelopes of the
same size. It was a sign of the upcoming
season. I assumed it was one of many
Holiday invites I would get over the course of a few weeks. Yet, it was unlikely that I would spend the
Holidays in Tampa, so I left it for last. When I couldn’t ignore the rust colored envelope anymore, I opened
it. To my surprise, it was a wedding
invitation. It was a welcomed thought,
and there was a part of me that wanted to be there, yet I knew my whole heart
couldn’t celebrate with her. Besides, I’d
already committed my Thanksgiving weekend to helping Kayla plan her celebration
and house warming. I also wanted to call
and congratulate her, but that was the lesser part of me. Instead, I stuffed all my feelings along with
the invite, back into the envelope and headed for Hannah.
I was always happy for Hannah to meet with Johnaya and Kaylin. It was good for her to have friends that were more like family. Her and Kaylin seemed to connect on a deeper level. Hannah was the oldest of the two, still Kaylin always appeared to be in charge. That was still a surprise to me, because Hannah was quite a leader. Anyway, they’d decided on a day of roller blading.
When we got
there Kayla was already there, and Johnaya and Kaylin were already on their
way. That was the thing. They too had a
special relationship, and it was always fun to watch them together. It reminded me a lot of our circle, and all
the hidden bonds. Hannah was not
sheepish or insecure, and she quickly caught up. Kayla and I stayed behind on a nearby bench. I wasn’t fully present. My thoughts were still with Erilyn and her upcoming
wedding. I couldn’t help but feel like
none of what happened between us held any weight. I guess there was a part of me that expected
her to apologize, but she never did. The
invitation could have been her way of trying to bridge the gap, but it only
made her appear calloused in my mind. It was also
the moment I remembered how long her and Nathan had remained together
unwed. It made me think about where
Derek and I were, and reminded me of his proposal. I sometimes wondered if it was still on the
table, but I didn’t dare ask him. I just
kept waiting for him to be my man again. Lately, it felt like I was his woman, and he’d forgotten how to be my
man.
I sat
watching the girls skate in a large circle.
Every now and then one of them would do something magical, and it would
get me and Kayla talking, but we were both fairly quiet.
I could certainly use the quiet, but I didn’t know what was keeping Kayla so quiet;
especially lately. There were so many
good things happening for her, and she was usually buzzing about it all. Then suddenly, she seemed to charge forward and
broke the silence with a question that wasn’t unlikely, but given the timing,
was almost questionable.
“So,
did you invite Erilyn and Nohle? You
know they’re both welcomed.”
“Of course I know.” I tried to overlook the subject.”
“That
was a question… you do know that?” Kayla
had become less passive than in recent years, and it was hard to dodge her.
“Actually,
Erilyn’s getting married that weekend.”
“Why
didn’t you say something. I could have
gotten someone else to help out.”
“I
know. It’s okay. I wouldn’t have gone anyway.” I said knowing I’d have to explain, but
perhaps I was finally ready to stop protecting everyone.
“So
are you finally ready to tell me why you came back?”
“You
know I love Miami.”
“I
know, but it was so sudden, and I’m surprised she hasn’t been here even once
since you’ve been back.” Kayla took the
time to lay out all the thoughts, questions, and concerns she’d been holding
onto.
“I
don’t know. We’re sisters. I don’t know if it’s right to say anything.” I could feel the burden of secrecy trying to
lift, but I didn’t know what all it would expose and it scared me.
“I’ve
trusted you with everything. I hope you
know you can trust me Jen.”
“I
do know. I’ve wanted to tell you. It’s just so messy, and …” I backed away again.
“And
what?”
“I
guess I’m embarrassed about it.”
“There’s
no way you could be embarrassed with me.
Not to mention, I miss you. You’re
not yourself, and everyone can see it.”
I heard her words and they left me naked. I’d thought I was doing a pretty good job at
keeping everything together. It was
certainly news to me. Suddenly I felt
betrayed. I felt like she should have
said something sooner. I didn’t know why
it made me so angry, but it did.
“Why
didn’t you say something all this time?”
I took my frustrations out.
“Like
what Jen? I can’t force you to open
up. You said it was complicated, and I
tried to respect that.”
“Erilyn
slept with Derek. Well, they had a
thing. It started before I got there.” I finally said it out loud, and it was no small task. I’d been trying for months. I couldn’t see it or explain it, but I knew something had let go
of me. I didn’t feel naked like before
though. I was lighter, but not
naked. It was as though something had
taken the place of the burden, yet it didn’t come with any weight. I felt free and justified in telling. I looked at the horror on Kayla’s face, and I
knew that I hadn’t overreacted. That was
the thought that always tried to make me feel guilty. Now I knew I could put it to bed. And in a separate bed.
Chapter 28
Dr. Kat Shepherd- Tayeton and I were official, and not
in an understated way. We were a
conversational couple, and we never took any questions off the table. He’d concluded that he’d fallen for me the moment
he met me, and I’d admitted that I’d fallen for him on our first date. All that being true, I knew there were
questions that hadn’t made their way onto the table, but we’d both chosen to
follow our hearts. He’d met my father,
and they’d also fallen in love. There
was no longer the respectable adult hand-shake between them, but rather a bear
hug type embrace. The more they seemed
to become one in their love for me, the more I felt the need to share his news
with my father. It was honestly the most I’d kept
from my father since I’d left college.
We were close, and I wanted his opinion.
Every Sunday evening after dinner, for the last four weeks, I had been
trying to corner his thoughts, but he was too overjoyed about the possibilities and all he felt was to come, to hear my attempts to cut through. He filled me up with his pride, and continued
to show his approval. My mother also didn’t
show any objections to Tayeton, and closely followed my father’s lead. I thought about his approval, and how much
more valuable it would be if he had all the facts. I decided to visit him at
work. I figured if I showed up unannounced,
he’d hear me.
It had been over two years since I'd been to Shepherd Engines, and everything looked so much bigger and brighter. I’d seen the evolution over the years, but I’d
missed something as of late. It was the
moment I realized we’d both been keeping some things, and it hurt me. After all I was Kat, and everyone knew I was
daddy’s girl. I took the long tiled hall
to my father’s office. No one considered
I’d just showed up. No one questioned my
being there. I only got, “Hi Kat” and I
continued on.
When I got to his office, he was on
the phone. He smiled and motioned for me
to sit, but I used the time to look around instead. There were a lot of new plaques and other
acknowledgments. I read them all. I then
moved to admiring the several models of the Shepherd Engine he had on
display. They each reminded me of all
the time my father spent working on his ideas, and the times he’d unveiled the
latest model. My mother, my sister, and I
were usually the first to get a look at the newest Shepherd Engine, but I was just
seeing the latest engine for the first time.
I wasn’t sure if we’d all been left out of the loop, but I longed to
resume my place within the loop. I
turned and communicated my surprise, and my father quickly brought his call to
an end. I continued to look on as he
joined me.
“Do
you want to get a look at the real thing?”
“You
know I do. Why didn’t I know about this?”
“You’re
Dr. Kat Shepherd. You don’t really want
to know about our every move.”
“Of
course I do.”
“Is
that why you came?”
“I’d
come more often if I knew you had all this happening. Do mom and Monica know?”
“They
do.” I followed behind my father.
“I
thought I’d always just be Kat.” I couldn’t
withhold my feelings, and stopped along the hall.
“I’m
proud of you Kat. You know who you are
and what you want, and I’m always going to be here for you.” My father still couldn’t hear me. Somewhere in his mind I’d graduated, and no
longer needed him near. I couldn’t understand
where it would leave us, but I did understand that I no longer needed what I’d
come for. My father pulled me under his
arm and kissed my cheek. When I’d dried
my tears, I continued behind my father who was moving rather swiftly. I continued to soak up all the hellos, and
they helped me to remember that being in the loop wasn’t so important. Clearly, I was a part of the loop, and that was enough.
FAQ:
"What is a Suspended-Release Novel?"
Answer: A Novel that has its contents released in a suspended manner, according to the schedule prescribed by the author or publisher.
Purpose: To engage the reading audience with an interactive book publishing and book release event. Learn more: http://thedecksandtheroad.blogspot.com/2017/10/welcome-to-decks-of-our-lives.html
Freeborn, a novel
Freeborn
© Grace Call Communications,
LLC
Copyright © 2017
by Natisha Renee Williams
All Rights Reserved
Comments
Post a Comment